Daydreamer(s) Unlimited

One of the underappreciated confusions of making anything is why you’re doing it in the first place. I can only speak for myself, but I’m not honestly sure why. I’ve had lots of answers over the years that were almost certainly contradictory and probably hilariously self-aggrandizing, but lately the only thing I can come up with is I just want to, or have to, or maybe both. I’ve been taking stock of it for the last few weeks for therapy, and the raw data output is that it’s just how I spend at least 90% of my internal time.

By it I mean thinking of stuff I wish existed or tinkering with things I’m currently working on. As an example, years ago I wanted to open a vinyl bar where the record player’s belt wound along the walls and ceiling of the whole place the room felt vaguely alive, and pretty much every time I sit on my couch now I think for a few seconds about adapting it to my house. I’m going to make that at some point because it won’t leave me alone until I do, but who knows when or where. In the meantime, that’s one of many thousands of loops running in my head that interrupt things like remembering to hang the keys on the thing by the door or put the green tea back in the right place etc.

And part of the resistance I had for years of releasing work regularly and forcing myself to sit down and finish things which have sat half-made for a decade is I was getting hung up on the narrative or the Simon Sinek-y Start with Why stuff. I wanted to craft a persona that not only explained the material itself but hinted at an ornate interior world which would make you ache your kneecaps off if you explored it. Which is so fucking goofy and arrogant. If there is a why behind Radio Bebop or everything else that’s on the way, it’s just because it’s there. I can’t honestly explain it any other way, and I’m going to do my best not to try to. And as a reminder to myself that feeling like 500 people is OK, I bought the Wizards of Barge shirt below. I’m obsessed with their design schtick and there are like 100 amazing things on their site. I’m not, like, making money to say that or anything I just like it. Happy Wednesday.